But suffering privately is not the same as telling the truth publicly.
We drove home in silence.
That night Emily came into my bedroom.
She was carrying Rebecca's letter.
“Mom?”
“Yes?”
“I don't want to change my birth certificate yet.”
“Okay.”
“I might someday.”
“Okay.”
“I want Rebecca in my life.”
My throat tightened.
“Okay.”
She watched me.
“Are you really okay?”
“No.”
That surprised her.
I smiled through tears.
“But I'm going to get there.”
She sat beside me.
“I don't want you to think you're losing me.”
I took her hand.
“That's exactly what Zane was afraid of.”
She went still.
I continued.
“So we aren't going to build another lie around protecting me from that feeling.”
She cried.
“I am afraid.”
“I am jealous.”
“I am angry.”
“I also want you to know her.”
I swallowed.
“All of that is true.”
Emily hugged me.
And that was how we did it.
