I called it my emergency fund at first. Then I started calling it Deacon’s future.
Jimmy’s liver gave out when Deacon was twelve years old. The doctor said it was actually impressive he’d made it that long given the amount of alcohol he’d consumed. I stood beside Deacon at the funeral in our borrowed black clothes and watched them lower a man we barely knew into the ground. I didn’t cry. Neither did Deacon. We just stood there holding hands, two survivors of the same disaster, and then we went home and kept living.
Life got quieter after Jimmy died. Easier, in some ways. The shouting stopped. The broken promises stopped. The anxiety about whether there would be money for rent stopped because now I controlled every dollar.
I picked up even more shifts at the factory—weekends, holidays, the overnight shifts that paid an extra dollar fifty an hour and left me walking through the door at seven in the morning just as Deacon was leaving for school. I’d sleep for four hours, get up, make dinner, help with homework, and then start the cycle again.
