Daniel rubbed his hands together.
“I know it doesn’t make sense.”
“It does.”
He looked surprised.
I continued:
“But understanding why you lied doesn’t make the lie disappear.”
“No.”
“I need you to understand that.”
“I do.”
“You loved Joanna.”
“Yes.”
“You loved me.”
“Yes.”
“Those things can both be true.”
Tears filled his eyes.
I held his gaze.
“And this can also be true.”
He waited.
“You loved me and still lied to me.”
Daniel nodded.
“Yes.”
That mattered more than I expected.
I wasn’t ready to forgive him.
But at least I no longer had to argue with him about whether I had been betrayed.
Later, after everyone left, Daniel and I sat alone.
The VHS tape rested on the coffee table.
I stared at it.
“Do our children know?”
“No.”
“Anyone else?”
“My brothers. Mom. A few people who were there.”
“Joanna’s family?”
“Yes.”
“Do you still speak to them?”
Daniel hesitated.
“Christmas cards sometimes.”
Another thing I hadn’t known.
I looked at him.
“No more.”
His face tightened.
“No more what?”
“No more discovering pieces.”
He nodded.
“If there is anything else, you tell me now.”
“There isn’t.”
I stared at him.
“Think carefully.”
He did.
Then shook his head.
“There isn’t.”
I picked up the tape.
“I don’t know what happens to us after tonight.”
“I understand.”
“I don’t know if I can wear the pendant again.”
His eyes moved toward my jewelry box upstairs as though he could see through the ceiling.
“Okay.”
“Don’t tell me it’s okay.”
He nodded.
“Fair.”
“And your brothers never call me the second wife again.”
From somewhere in the hallway, Mark’s voice suddenly called:
“Never!”
I jumped.
Daniel stared toward the doorway.
Mark appeared holding his coat.
“I forgot my keys.”
Despite everything, I laughed.
One sharp, exhausted laugh.
Mark raised both hands.
“Never again. I swear.”
“Get out.”
“Going.”
He disappeared.
Daniel and I looked at each other.
Neither of us smiled for long.
Because the problem remained.
In the weeks afterward, we talked more than we had in years.
Not pleasant conversations.
Real ones.
Daniel told me everything about Joanna.
How they met.
Their first apartment.
The proposal.
The wedding plans.
The crash.
The hospital ceremony.
The funeral.
The years afterward.
Some details hurt.
I told him when they did.
Sometimes I became angry over things that had happened before I knew him.
