“She’s already in it.”
Paul looked at me.
“I was going to tell you.”
“For three months?”
He shuddered.
“Daniel and I were trying to fix things.”
“And I wasn’t allowed to know?”
“I was going to tell you.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Then tell me how it was.”
Paul’s eyes filled with tears.
“I saw Lily before you.”
No one moved.
She looked down.
“I saw Lily before you.”
Daniel sent me a picture. I almost vomited. “His voice broke. She looked a lot like Maggie.
I felt my anger fight my pain.
Paul continued.
“I couldn’t breathe. I thought if you saw it, I would tear you apart.”
“But I did see her, and you saw me think I was losing my mind.”
“Daniel sent me a picture. I almost vomit.”
“I thought you’d get over the resemblance. I was trying to protect you.”
“No. You were trying to control what happened next.”
“Rachel-”
“You had permission to decide what you could handle. You didn’t have permission to decide what I could know.”
His face strained.
“No. You were trying to control what happened next.”
“I lost Maggie, too. Do you think seeing Lily didn’t hurt me?”
“I know it hurt.”
“Then why do you act like I did this to punish you?”
“I am not.”
I pointed to Lily.
“I’m acting like you’ve forced a scared sixteen-year-old girl to keep a secret because you were too afraid to talk to your wife.”
“I know it hurt.”
Paul looked at her.
Lily's eyes were red.
He whispered, “I never asked him to do that.”
She answered before I could.
“You didn’t have to.”
Paul stood still.
“I never asked him to do that.”
Lily covered her hands with her sleeves.
“Dad told me not to get in. You knew who I was. Mrs. Harris is not. Every day I had to guess what I could say.”
His voice was shaking.
“I used to love his class. Then I started to hate her.”
That broke something inside me.
“I used to love his class. Then I started to hate her.”
The secret Paul believed he would protect me had made Lily afraid to enter my classroom.
Paul sat down.
“I’m sorry, Lily.”
She looked away.
Daniel spoke quietly, “They shouldn’t have put her in the middle of all this.”
