My stomach wasn’t flat.
My arms looked softer than before pregnancy.
And I looked happy.
Ryan sat quietly beside me.
Then asked:
“Do you think you’ll ever feel comfortable around me again?”
I kept looking at the photograph.
“I want to.”
His face softened.
“But I still wonder what you’re thinking when you look at me.”
He closed his eyes.
“I hate that I did that to you.”
“So do I.”
“I’ve been trying to show you I can change.”
“I’ve noticed.”
I handed him the phone.
“But one good week does not erase four bad months.”
He nodded.
“I’ll keep showing up.”
“Emma needs that.”
He looked at our daughter.
“Whether we stay married or not,” I added.
His face tightened.
“I don’t want to lose us.”
I looked down at Emma.
“Neither did I.”
But I didn’t take his hand.