My mother’s looping script filled the page, every word a knife and a balm at once.
My darling daughter, if Lydia gives you this, then she kept the promise I made her swear to keep…
I unfolded the letter.
Your father is sick, my love. The doctors confirmed it last spring.
Early dementia, moving faster than any of us imagined.
I sank onto the edge of my bed, my vision blurring.
He needs someone to stay with him to handle power of attorney. Medical decisions. The house. I could not bear to watch you trade your twenties for bedpans and pill bottles.
Your father refused every legal arrangement I proposed.
Except one.
The doctors confirmed it last spring.
He agreed to let Lydia help him, but the only way she could stay in the house, access medical decisions immediately, and prevent distant relatives from taking control was to become his wife.
I begged Lydia to marry him after I was gone.
Forgive her. Forgive me.
A year of rage collapsed inside my chest.
I grabbed my keys and drove through the dark streets to the house I once swore I would never enter again.
Forgive me.
Lydia opened the door.
“You read it,” she whispered.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Your mother made me promise. She wanted you to live.”
Behind her, I saw my father in his armchair, staring at a television that wasn’t on.
He didn’t recognize me at first.
“You read it,”
Then he smiled. “Is that my girl?”
I broke.
I crossed the room and knelt beside him, pressing my forehead against his trembling hand.
“It’s me, Dad. I’m here.”
Lydia stood in the doorway, weeping silently.
“Is that my girl?”
I rose and went to her, pulling her into my arms the way I should have a year ago.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “For everything I thought. For everything I said.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” she whispered. “You loved her. So did I.”
I held my best friend tighter.
For the first time since the funeral, I felt my mother in the room.
“You loved her. So did I.”
